To Change or Not to Change Your Life?

The 3-Month Guide to Change. The Book

To Change or Not to Change Your Life? The 3-Month Guide to Change Book

So why is it that only such a small percent of people are capable of true change? Well, there are a number of reasons. I’d like to start out by illustrating them using examples that may seem unrelated at first glance but are actually perfect for the task.

Take a look at this picture that I took during a trip to Cyprus for some time off.

This shot was taken on the beach of a cozy little town called Ayia Napa, amid a fairly small bay. The rocks you see are actually quite close to the shore, roughly 100 feet away. It’s just the wide-angle lens that makes the distance look greater. The buoys are further still.

Note how many people were gathered just before the rocks, but how completely empty the space just beyond them was. I observed this same occurrence day after day. Only a rare few ever went out beyond those rocks, and most never even made it out far enough to just reach them. All this despite how calm the waters were most of the time, as you can see for yourself.

Perhaps the water near the rocks was particularly deep? Not at all. Chest level at most. Were the rocks far away? Not far at all, as mentioned above. So maybe the rocks themselves form an impenetrable barrier? Wrong again. They’re spaced liberally, allowing anyone to just pass right through.

And what lies beyond those rocks? Sheer bliss. The waters are noticeably cleaner and considerably deeper. Those who go snorkeling know full well the beauty and variety to behold once you get out that far from the coast.

Yet most preferred to just splash around in the makeshift paddling pool just off the shore. Could it be that many just didn’t know how to swim? According to my observations, most were fully capable and even quite good at it. Still, they preferred to do so among the shallowest of waters, up towards the rocks and back again, where they could just stand up and walk at any point.

Sure, the children were still young and learning how to swim, but curiously, they were the ones most fervently striving to go out to the rocks, only to be immediately reprimanded by their parents with typical parental know-how. “Oh, no, you don’t. That’s too far. It’s too dangerous.”

Another category was that of people already old enough to have seen a fair bit of life, who somehow never learned to swim, and surprisingly, weren’t interested in learning, seemingly following the old “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” philosophy.

I’m sure by now you’ve realized the analogy I’m brewing here. So let’s try to figure out why it is that people avoid “swimming past the rocks,” as it were. The reasons aren’t anything out of the ordinary.


  1. Fear. “Who’s to say what lies out there beyond the rocks? I mean, it’s probably really deep, full of harsh terrain, the waters are wild and home to all sorts of unfriendly wildlife. With all those dangers, why bother? After all, I’m on vacation.”
  2. Laziness. “What’s the point? I’d have to walk, then swim, and get all stressed out. I’d be wasting energy with every stroke, and for what? I think I’ll just float around here, near the shore, where it’s nice and relaxing.”
  3. Conformism. “No one else swims out past the rocks. There must be a reason. So probably best I don’t either. Just to be on the safe side.”
  4. Accountability. “If I swim out there, I’d have to take my kid with me. What if he gets wounded on the way? I’ll never hear the end of it. Far better to just stay here in the shallows.”

Now let’s translate that into general terms for everyday life.

If you really want to “explore forbidden waters,” to experience true pleasure, passion, and freedom, then you need to do four things.

  1. Learn to “swim.”
  2. Overcome your fear.
  3. Avoid rationalizing based on the actions of others.
  4. And accept responsibility with open arms.

Hopefully, you’re still with me after all that, but it was necessary to setup the appropriate atmosphere for what’s to come. Remember these points, because however vague they may sound to you now, as we move forward, I’ll do my best to provide you with the information you’ll need to understand their significance.

With that said, let’s “dive” straight into the specific techniques, knowledge, and skills required to achieve real, lasting change over the course of three months.


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